The 9 People You Meet on the London Underground

Whether you call it the Tube or the Underground, there is no denying that this public transportation is one of the most important things in the life of a Londoner. Nothing beats the rush of joy you feel when you get a seat during rush hour, or actually make it on the last train of the night. But then there’s always the threat of being sandwiched next to a screaming child, or the sinking of your heart when the conductor says there are “severe delays” along your favorite line.

london underground sign

Yes, the London Underground is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Here are a few of the people you’re bound to meet on the Tube, whether you’re here for a week or an entire semester.

1. The Klutz

This poor, innocent soul seems to never be able to find their “Tube legs”. They are always overconfident and decide not to hold on the railings, then end up flying halfway down the cart, accidentally groping 5 different people along the way.

2. The Buffet

While London is known for its foodies, sometimes they take it too far… as in too far underground! This is the guy or gal who takes out their lunch and stinks up the entire train. Hope your date likes the smell of garlic!

3. The Snoozer

Now this person serves as a major source of entertainment. Just a nice commuter trying to catch some extra Z’s on their way for work – but you’ve really gotta look out for the ones who wake themselves up with their own snores. If you’re lucky they might even drool for some extra LOLs!


4. The Creeper

We’re not sure if this guy knows he’s creepy, or is just trying to appear friendly. Either way, you’re bound to meet one of these guys with a signature creepy smile. He’ll give a little smile and wave at everyone and everything, making you clutch your bag just a little bit tighter.

5. The Crazy Bag Lady

Over-sized luggage, excessive amount of bags, or just one ginormous purse – all of these are symptoms of the crazy bag guy or gal. They manage to take up more space than 3 or 4 people combined, and it is never done gracefully. How they got through the little doors, I’ll never know.

6. The Drunks

Loud, rowdy, clumsy, and hilarious. London has a very prominent drinking culture, so don’t be surprised if you see merry people on the Tube at any time of the day. Whether alone or in a group, people who have had one too many to drink will provide you with a hearty laugh as they try to make the entire cart dance or sing with them. (Note: you and your friends will be this person at some point. Be patient with them).

7. The Ninja

You will never be sure if you should hate or admire this person. Skilled and sneaky, the ninja will find a way to swoop in and steal a seat the second it opens up, no matter who has been having eye-contact wars to win it over.

8. The PDA

Ah, young love. So innocent and beautiful and *gross* when in a crowded train. These people are glued to each other’s face to the point where you will be concerned if they can even breathe anymore.

9. The Plague

Last but surely not least, is the walking plague. While you will definitely feel sorry for how crappy this person feels, you keep a steady eye on them to keep tab of anything they touch. Every time they sneeze, you flinch and pop a vitamin C. Why couldn’t they just stay home from work today?

The people of London are as wonderful as they are wacky. Soon enough you’ll develop your own ways to spot these 9 people and strategically avoid them – even though you’ll never admit you’ve been every one of them at some point! 


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