My final week in Japan has arrived and I feel as though I am floating in a standstill. I don’t believe it’s actually true. Maybe I’ve somehow convinced myself that it can’t be true. Everyday I have gone to school and come back home as if it weren’t ever going to end. I haven’t particularly let myself get down about it either. The moment that I have been dreading had already arrived and I was surprisingly coping well. No biggie, right?
Okay, let’s speed up a little bit to where there are only three days left.
I’m riding my bike to Hirakata station to meet up with some friends. The friends that have been there through this year long experience helping me grow and vice versa. I’ve gotten used to the half an hour ride from Tsuda, where my host parent’s live, to where the station is located. I remember thinking that the ride was awful. My body ached. I complained in my head and moaned all the way to the station. Now I was in love with every minute of the half an hour that it took. I looked around at the houses, the rice paddies, and all of the things that make the place memorable for me. In a few days I won’t see rice paddies anymore. Just in a few days I won’t be seen off by my host family as we continuously bow to each other until I’m practically out of sight. The simple act of biking to meet up with friends will even be an act that I will kiss away and stow in my folder of memories. Was I seriously as ready as I thought I was? Maybe not.
Reading back to older posts is interesting because I see how I’ve grown and how much I’ve learned. I feel as though I am on a different level personally. I remember feeling frustrated during the times that I thought I wasn’t improving in Japanese. I remember feeling disappointed when I felt I wasn’t growing personally as much I had expected.
Oh, shoot now here I am reminiscing. Fine, let me just admit that during the final I was a complete mess. There it is documented, official, and on the internet. I’ve nothing to hide at this point. You guys have read along and know of some of my many embarrassing moments. You have seen me during the times I’ve been upset, moved, and confused. Sometimes all at the same time.You’ve seen me rant on and try to figure out Japanese culture. So I guess I might as well take it a step further and say that I was like a little child. I didn’t want to let go of this experience that I’ve had this year. I don’t want to say good bye to Japan.
As I’ve explained before, Japan has become something of a friend. Even when I was angry and frustrated at not being able to cope better with cultural differences Japan taught me patience and respect. I was exhausted from the pressure that I felt from my host parents and it was crushing me. I never spoke about it on this blog because I’ve grown to love them as a true family and it would not be respectful to talk about our issues online. My experience in Japan taught me how to live life. It gave me friends that I will never forget. I’m so thankful to my Japanese friends that were there to listen to my complaints and offer advice with dealing with cultural misunderstandings and differences. I’m even so thankful to the embarrassing moments I’ve had because I have learned because of them.
This has been my childhood dream. This has been something that I used to pray for and think that I would never get the chance to live. I would always hear about financial hardships growing up and figured that a flight to Asia would be nothing but a mere dream or illusion. I didn’t think that someone like me would have had this chance. No one in my family has had this opportunity before. But here I am. I visited temples in Japan, Thailand, and South Korea. I got my chance to see geisha and maiko perform during spring in a kabuki hall. I snowboarded in a mountain in Nagano, my first time ever doing so. I was able to go to Hiroshima and pay my respects to victims of a tragic and horrific event. I bathed in a public outdoor onsen, hot spring, with bamboo surrounding me and the night sky to look up to. I improved my language skills far beyond I had even noticed. I dared myself and sang publicly for the first time. So many things I had dreamt of doing finally became a reality.
Japan has a place in my heart that I can’t ever forget. A piece of Japan will always be with me. I am not an expert about Japan. Maybe a lot of things I have written about may or may not be incorrect. It truly varies with every individual. We all will walk different paths in life. No path will be the same. We won’t meet the same people. We won’t have the same abilities or experiences. Most importantly we won’t all be in the country for the same amount of time. One year is just not enough and I can’t emphasize it anymore. One year is me just beginning to scratch the surface to something much more immense. I am a student and will eternally be a student.
The Global Gator 